Shaking Against the Altar

Wonder Voyage is celebrating 25 years of connecting people with wonder. This year, the blog will be filled with stories of our staff and partners around the globe. We can’t wait to connect you with the stories that make up the heartbeat of our organization. This week, we look at Wonder Voyage in 2001.

Family Vacation

It was in 2001, the second year of Wonder Voyage’s existence when I found myself huddled and shaking against the cold stone altar on a hill in the south of Wales. My family and I were halfway through our second straight summer in Ireland, leading voyages for churches from the States.   We had a two-week gap until the next church group arrived, so we decided to take a brief holiday in Wales.

We arrived at Ffald-y-Brenin, a superb retreat center perched atop a hill overlooking the magical Gwaum Valley. Thankful for the retreat, we were ready for a much-needed rest. As I explored the property the next day, I came upon the circular chapel. Built in an ancient Celtic design, I marveled at both the simplicity of the architecture and the depth of peace that resided in the small room. The most striking feature was the altar. It was literally the top of the mountain. The chapel had been built to encapsulate the rocky peak.  

The Same Prayer… Again

As I sat in silence, I drowned in my thoughts. The last two years had been spiritually, physically, and emotionally exhausting. Sitting there, I found myself praying the same prayer I had prayed hundreds of times since I started Wonder Voyage. “Lord, if you are ready for me to be done with this, to walk away and start something, anything else, just give me the word.”

Wonder Voyage was a dream significantly more immense than anything I could handle alone. The responsibility of creating and executing spiritual journeys was invigorating yet utterly terrifying. I would often wake up from some sort of night terror related to me missing some vital detail on a trip, which caused an avalanching disaster. The whispers of the naysayers of my past telling me I wasn’t qualified enough or spiritually ready boomed in my ears with every major decision I had to make. 

Sitting in the chapel, without any distraction or sound, I started to shake. As I lay upon the stone altar, the dam of my soul broke as tears poured onto the rock. Once again, I prayed, “Lord, if you are ready for me to be done with this, to walk away and start something, anything else, just give the word.” 

A Desperate Cry

For some reason, this prayer that I had spoken hundreds of times was, at this moment, a final act of desperation.

In my heart, I wanted the voice of God to clearly release me from Wonder Voyage. I loved the concept and leading trips. I rejoiced in seeing lives changed. But I knew it was too big for me to handle. Walking away would be much easier than moving forward.

The empty room suddenly filled with a Holy Presence. My tears dried up, and I clutched the top of the mountain as if I were about to be pulled off it by some gigantic hand and crushed.

I did not dare open my eyes.

The Command to Go Forward

In my heart, a clear declaration rang over and over again. A hurricane of words tore at my spirit as I held on for dear life. I did not hear the words. I just knew them instantly: “Enough, Shawn. You will never ask me to release you again! Go forward and be what I have created you to be!”

The atmosphere softened as I vowed never to doubt the call to pioneer Wonder Voyage. One final question echoed as a parting shot from the Lord. “Who will be in control of Wonder Voyage, Shawn? Who will you trust?”

So, on that day, it was settled. Wonder Voyage would move ahead as long as God kept the reins.